End~

Everything were end. I have to live without him, but sure i will stay happily without him^^ cheers!~

My True Feeling, it's BLUE

I dislike someone, i really hate someone. but, lots of people say that we couldn't hate or dislike someone as we will be old later. is that true? but i really couldn't bare it...

i dislike her. who is she? maybe only he knows it. but, seems like nothing change even i am hating her... what for??? am i stupid for this or am i right to do this???

T.T before i were fall in love with him, he liked her very much...perhaps even love~ i was so supported him to chase her...but she was treated him with cold responds in cold-blooded way...

Just in one day, when i realized that i was fall in love with him, i was full with anger on him that treated her so good again...he was really dim-witted to do that! kept waiting for her!

Until the day he felt that i'm liking him, he slowly gave up on her. he said he wanted to get rid of her in his mind. i thought that was a good thing to him. however, it wasn't!

that girl kept on finding him, even now! do you know why? because she starts to have feeling on him~ what's wrong with her mind?? how come every time was me facing this kind of problems?? what did i ever do to you boy??? could you tell me that she never appear in my mind and i never know who is she??? all were realities~ i really hope that she doesn't find him anymore... i want to cry once think about it... sometimes i feel that we never been together before if i know the results were these~ but, he doesn't comprehend my feeling... i'm hurt day by day...he never know. what if i found a guy and chatting with him just like what he did with her? what would he feels? i hope to do that. but my friend (soon) asked me not to do that. but, why he can do that to me but i can't?? isn't that i should get use of this kind of feeling? i couldn't bare these! tell me! what should i do?? because of this case, i have almost give up my studies...i felt want to separate with you for a time. but, i can't do it, because i know your feeling! but why you can't understand my feeling was?? isn't that happy for you to do this to me?

i don't know who to complain to, i only can write on blog...

not because of i'm small in these, but owing to i care you and love you...

think too much is a female characteristic, but the truth is, i dislike her.

not only me will feel that's hurt, but every girl would does it. unless she doesn't love you anymore. thus, she wouldn't feel anything again.

i don't know whether when i can bare till to...

but,

i'm quite disappointed on you, sorry to tell you this.

End of speech~

A Boy Washed My Hair~

today, i went to my friend's house. i wanted to wash my hair. thus, i decided to wash my hair at my friend's house. my boy was there too. he lent me his towel. i used it. when i washed my hair, he helped me. the feeling was so nice. (ps : do not misunderstand my situation, i had wore my clothes but just like squad down and washed my hair^^) after i had washed my hair, didn't have any hair dryer. so he used a fan to make my hair dry. my boy was help me to comb my hair nicely and make it until completely dry...so nice^^ the first time a boy did that to me...just felt very prosperous. nothing to say about it. just feel~^^ he is so nice than what i thought...^^

I love U boy^^ Muakz~

My Blue Tears in the night

this time i write on blog, is a sad memory.

tonight i went to "taman sahabat" together with my boy and 3 friends.

i thought i can be happy at there, but seemed like i don't after that.

what's wrong with me? i sat on somewhere else, he laid on my tight.

we talked about our history. he talked about his ex.

i'm not jealous that moment, as i trusted him that he wouldn't do anything wrong to me.

suddenly, his phone message alert rang up. that was a girl that he sms-ed her almost whole night. it's not the first time a girl finds him too. and i see who was her, he said that why i always like to see his msg, i said that i'm not what. what's wrong? i knew that it's impolite to see someone messages. but i really didn't.

thus, i hope i can treat it as normal and dun jealous it at all.

but seemed i cant do that. i do not dare to tell him that i'm jealous. due to i afraid that he would feel that i didn't give him any freedom. But, this would hurt me after T.T he doesn't know anything. in the whole ride to his home, i was moody and not talked much with him. he asked what was happened to me. i said no. actually, my heart was bleeding. no one knows. but, i think my darling(Michelle) knew about it.

when i went home, i tried to make a short story about this case and sent to him.

i'm not sure that whether he knew that i'm saying about ourselves or just treat it as a short story.

i hope that he would tell me what to do if a girl sms him again. but he didn't. and he said he was tired and going to sleep. That's hurt me again.

if i jealous on that case, i scare that he will say me sensitive. if i didn't jealous, would he think that i'm not care about him at all? how to be a girlfriend like that? it's so difficult for me now...my blue tears keep rolling in my heart...i'm so sick about it. what should i do? could anyone tell me?

i'm scare to lost him. but we will never know about our future...so how? i'm wondering now...i couldn't sleep. first time, because of him made me sad about these, i couldn't sleep.

would he see this blog? i hope he doesn't. because i know that he will be moody and upset after read these...

Boy, i'm loving you. hope you know it.

I love him

10 more days, my relationship with my boy is going to be 1 month^^

time passed rapidly is true. it's happy to be together with him^^ as he can always make me happy...

to be frank, after i have together with him, my life becomes more colourful and meaningful.

this is real. i know so much thing after that^^

although i will still get bit of afraid to lost him as his mind still have bit likeness to his previous girl.

but, i do believe him that he will know what should do and don't.

together with boy, i should always stay believe and faithfully...

i do admit that i will be jealous because of this case...

but, i will try to accept this...as this is reality...

i would like to say thanks to his friend, owing to he always warn my boy couldn't do something hurt me^^

i'm so lucky to meet this gang of boys.

i keep thinking that who is my best friend.

now, i realised it^^ is them...thanks to you all...^^

hope our relationship would be last long and forever^^

I love you boy,^^ i will always be your side no matter where or when...

i would say that i'm the most prosperous gal to meet you in this world^^

I LOVE YOU^^

SPM - one day left~

SPM is coming in this Wednesday T.T i'm gonna fight with it soon. Hope i can do it. However, i'm not ready for it still. Left only a day, what can i do? Malay subject i have almost finish. but then history, i really dislike that. I want to give up on that stupid subject. It's really useless for me. That's really a hut nut to crack what. I am still go out every night and do not care anything about my SPM. What's happening to me? Isn't that I'm the kind of student that must be have fun and mad before the examinations come? anyway, i hope that i'm...haha. Who is going to safe me from these??? T.T SPM takes 1 month to finish. Why need to be so long?? what a dim-witted government. >.<" would my blog be banned?? =p...i hope today is the last day of SPM. I would go for karaoke then, and be mad around^^

To be continue~

My Unfortunate Incidents Happened Recently

last week Wednesday, my hand got bruised

on Saturday, my friend's dog was going to die as it was sick

on Sunday, my car's aerial sundered

on Monday, my head knocked by sch bus

on Tuesday, i had sprained my foot

and today 4/11/2009 i was in accident. my car crashed with an old Toyota

and my car was dent seriously. the floor was wet in the morning and i couldn't break it, even i had tried to turn to left side, however it still went straight, when i went out from car, i saw my tires were turned to the right side. how could it be??

i felt very nervous and blank in my mind.

i don't know what to do. i called to edgar, i didn't dare to call to my parents. i drove to edgar's house, he helped me to check all the thing as he is more comprehend to the cars...then, we drove to soon's house, i called to my tutor to see whether what can i do...he was comforted me to tell my parents, and it's better to do like this. i try to be brave and tell them, and i didn't want go to school today as i'm very down about this case. i drove back to my home. on the way to matang, my car was broke down at the round about. it's lucky that i brought along edgar to follow me. i told my parents that my car was broke down at that time.

finally, my car was taking to repair now. and my parents sent edgar back to soon's house.

i'm really sick now...i think i will be died soon.